How your judging people is killing your relationships and team’s success

James DeLuccia
4 min readDec 8, 2020

Judgement is a poison. It eliminates the frankness and vulnerability gained through honest discussion. It hides problems, and is the source of much grief in your personal relationships.

Businesses and product launches fail because you were afraid ‘of what other people would think/say’. Relationships and love are won and lost with the fear of judgement.

But what is judgement and how can you create a life free of it?

Judgement — simply is fear of other people’s opinion of us for our thoughts and actions.


  • Fear to speak up in meetings for asking “dumb questions”
  • Fear to share how you REALLY feel with your spouse
  • Fear to engage with the business team (imposter syndrome)
  • Failing to create / write / speak in public .. again imposter syndrome
  • Fear to air guitar, karaoke in the kitchen, or dance with your wife .. because well .. you aren’t a professional

You get it — judgement slows, impedes, hides, and erodes the good moments and momentum in your life. Now what do we do?

Shedding Judgement is in your own hands

Judgement is your mental manifestation of what MIGHT other people think, feel, say, or do as a result of our actions. There is truth to these thoughts. People will have thoughts and reactions — but does that change who you are inside? NO.

People may react poorly, but they may also EMBRACE and love your idea. They may love who you really are. They might!

When you recognize that to NOT act on your thoughts, dreams, and authentic self is to live a LIE. You were not born to pretend to be someone else. You were born and have experienced the harships and good moments to be WHO you are today. To embrace your true self — speak honestly. Share your careful thoughts. Take initiative where you see you can help. Tell that boy / girl what is sincerely in your heart.

See how much better you feel after that moment, and use that to support your growth.

Hiding what you really want and are inside only leads to regret. Something I have shared deeply on, and is the #1 disappointment of those on their last days on Earth. Regret of what…

James DeLuccia

Technologist, Researcher, Artist, Executive, Father, Author, Inventor, Speaker, and CrossFit...