Have the courage to ask

Lack of courage has a cost

That is a mental struggle I have had recently (forever?) that has caused me loads of grief, sadness, lost opportunities, failed projects, and who knows what those ventures would have realized had they come to fruition. I will never have those deeper relationships, the lessons from the experience, and the never know what we would have achieved.

Why I hate asking

The number one thing I hate asking for is another person’s time. Simple as that — I have reservations, hesitations, and a million excuses prepared. This is impacting my relationships, love life, creative endeavors, charity work, and who knows what else!

My core fear — I am not sure I will be giving them value by taking their time.

I am pre-judging what they consider valuable and whether or not I can even provide them value in the discussion. It is profound how far this fear stretches — that of not being valuable to this person, most of whom I call friends and have spent 100s of hours working together side by side on hard projects.

What I have discovered

I recently shared this fear and had a healthy reframing, and it begins with me understanding my intention. If my intentions are good, then there should be no hesitation.

Relationships > Transactions

What you can learn and do as a result

Use this to power yourself forward and break down the barrier as I have been forced to do myself. The questions below will free you, try them, add to them, share them please — never know when mine will re-emerge as something else:

  1. Would you take the meeting if the other person asked? → Yes, make the meeting
  2. Would you be able to put that person up / help them by taking the meeting? → Yes, make the meeting and seek to provide them value
  3. Can you both learn something together? → Yes, bing, book it
  4. Are you speaking about what you love and enjoy? → Definitely, especially if they love it too

Time is valuable, but lessons are invaluable

We cherish time immensely. I know I do things to maximize time with family, clients, and on my passions. While time is said to be most precious, I would balance that against lessons. Lessons come from living a life of purpose and exploration. Hard moments will come that will cause us pain, heartbreak, and suffering. Great moments will also bring joy, profound change in the world, and happiness. In each of these moments we gain life lessons, experience, building blocks for the next moment.

Lessons are the cornerstone of who I am and who I will become, to lose them erases what and who I could have become tomorrow and in the future.

Please value lessons over time, as we can live a long life without ever experiencing life and that is the ultimate waste.

Please like and share if this provided you any value!

About Me

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
James DeLuccia

James DeLuccia

196 Followers

Technologist, Researcher, Artist, Executive, Father, Author, Inventor, Speaker, and CrossFit...